Barely To Survive.

It has been a long holiday since my graduation. Spending time with watching tv series, surfing internet, hanging out with friends and doing my must-do daily routinities have already been done until collapse. Talking about where to pursue my studies. some have entered their University and some are still staying at home or maybe having work out there and just waiting until their time to go to University. Meanwhile, I am still here confused with what should I really take. Frankly, this is the discussion that I hate the most. I have kept this problem in myself and I just can not bear this anymore. So I decided to share it here. I have been in this situation after finishing my school. At first, I was asked to just stay at Medan to pursue my studies. I do not know what the aim of that by my parents. I feel like why I must? While I still can get a better one. So I tried to argue the statement in soft way. Soft way means do some discussions. So I offered myself to have studies abroad by telling them cities that I want to. A few days past, my parents had a phonecall with me, because I was far away from them, and they told me if you want to study abroad, you only may go to Singapore, and no Australia, she said. In that situation, my Mom and I were already opposed. She insisted to just stay in Medan, while I insisted to study abroad. At last, my Mom was haggard to keep on arguing with me, so she let me go(I knew she did not really let me go.) So that means Iwas allowed to go abroad but not with the support of parents. Nowadays, I keep on hearing about the difficulties in earning money and finding jobs. I think how if I have already spent the money, and I will end up nothing? Fear indeed ruled my mind. I was about to move on that time, but after thinking I have to waste that bucks, I wonder where can I earn those bucks someday. Which is THICKER THAN EVER!!! I am still thinking, if I decide to stay in Medan, surely I do not have the "appetite" to study. Even I do not know if I will have the "appetite" when I go to foreign country. But I have to promise to myself to bone up hard in there. I decided to study there because I do not want to be trapped in this country. High criminal rate, get the low currency, high liability rate which increases annually, and also famous with the corruption, these all describe the country. And I wish to have a better studies, which has the international certificate and is accepted in other countries. I am still dilemma whether having in Medan or in SG is better. Because My Parents would like to spend those money only for my studies which they have earned hardly. Mmm.. Commiting suicide is the best way, no? Ahhahhaha, just joking. H.

Overprotected.

My family consists of Father, Mother, 2 Brothers and Me. I am the youngest. All of them indeed put great care to me. Wherever I go, whatever will I do, they always ask before. Here I confess, I do not like to be asked like that because they think I will do such crime so they keep on convincing. If they are going to ask, usually my face turns like a crap and give an unsatisfied answer.

At home, I am seldom to have TV watching together. Upstairs is just like my heaven where I can feel freedom there, no restriction, nobody knows what I am going to do. Songs indeed fill the night. I used to sing and dance like lunatic, I put all my emotions in everything I did. I can laugh loudly when I recalled the time with friends, I can cry as well when I thought that We are going to end senior high school this year.

Sometimes, I think that I am a big burden in my family. I just love to sleep and eat. While both brothers are helping in the shop. Actually, I want to join but I don't memorize the prizes of each item and I don't know where they put the items. It is too many. So I think rather than I disturb them while they are busy so I just go inside to watch TV. Both brothers are also good in attracting my parents. Their mouths are as sweet as honey, where I am very seldom to speak at home. I am totally different when I was at school and at home. "No jokes, no loud laughing" the words describe what I am doing at home.

Literally, today I was planning to go to my friend's house to have sleepover. yesterday I was asking for permission to my Mom, and She said that She will discuss it with my Father first and later They will tell me. So this morning She texted me that My Father didn't allow me to go. What could I do that time, I just said "OK" with no other responds. I know why they did that to me. They are afraid because they had experienced a totally horrible one. So they keep on watching everything I did. I did ever ask for going abroad with friends, they also didn't allow me, they didn't believe me that I could take care myself in other countries. I ever thought,"If they are not going somewhere by myself when will I be someone dependent?" and I know it was quite expensive trip.

I just can take the positive points in each refusal they did. They did it all for my own sake. I know they have plenty of good plans ahead. HOPE FOR THE BEST :D I indeed owe them so much. I know it is hard for me to pay back. I am not here to stand if Mom didn't bear me, and they didn't treat me well. ENDLESS THANK YOU FOR ALL :*

Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It's about hanging on during a very bumpy ride. - Ron Taffel

Family life was wonderful. The streets were bleak. The playgrounds were bleak. But home was always warm. My mother and father had a great relationship. I always felt 'safe' there. - Robert Cormier

Great hopes make great men. - Thomas Fuller

Sign off.

Pissed off.

Straight to the point. These few days I was totally not in mood. I had so many things to be prepared and cases to be accomplished. The problems started yesterday, it was Math period. Usually in math period I was moved by the teacher because He knew that my deskmate and I would have an endless conversation. So after I was moved, he asked talkative students to come foward to do questions. I yelled and directly He asked me to do it. I could not do it (not all, one question left), while the other students had done it all. He came to my place and slapped my back powerfully, it was about 3 or 4 times with couple of hands. And I was like "WHAT THE ...." In my mind, "Luckily, I still considered you as my favourite teacher." EH. BUT I WAS FREAKING PISSED OFF!!! Another story comes. Today, We passed Religion examination. Hopefully, I could get max score. :) #fingercrossed. Problem: I had answered all my exam paper questions, so I decided to collect and I was on my way to my own seat(because we was moved foward). One of my friends asked me 1 question with soft voice, and I didn't listen it clearly. So I just ignored him. The period had ended, he walked to my place (actually he wanted to see what my friend next to my desk played). Suddenly, he told something which I felt it was quite harsh. He meant that I was too stingy because I didn't want to tell him the answer. So I responded that I didn't hear it well. He replied, "Please, Don't lie." I just ignored him. I WAS FREAKING PISSED OFF (Again).

ttly.